10/14 at 05:30 PM | 0 comments

I know. The internetz will have my ass for this I’m sure. The Gods of the super information highway are surely scheming and plotting on the best way to totally wreck my modem, router and wireless network cards. Work with me here though. America has been overcome with an infatuation for bacon recently. I’m sure you have noticed. It’s quite hard to miss. Such delicacies such as Meatloaf has been transformed into Meatloaf smothered in bacon. Home baked cookies now contain variations to include a little strip of bacon on the top. Turkeys are now wrapped entirely in bacon in preparation for roast for a Thanksgiving treat. But just how healthy is this? Do I even need to ask this? NO! We know bacon is unhealthy for us.

Recent studies have found that Nitrates contain some type of magical scientific powers to repair tissue in your heart after a heart attack. Bacon is very high in nitrates, and because of this some say that bacon can actually be part of your healthy diet. Umm, think about this for a minute. Should I eat bacon to the point of a heart attack, just to eat bacon even more to repair the tissue in my heart damaged from a heart attack… because of bacon?  Does anyone else see the flaw in this?

Wake up people. Bacon is fat. It tastes good because fat tastes good. If you are going to eat bacon, eat it in moderation. Sunday brunch with 2 strips of bacon should be sufficient. We don’t need 3 slices of bacon for every slice of turkey. The worst thing you can do is go out drinking Stella, stop by the diner and pick up some bacon to go and then devour that shit moments before you go to sleep. Really? Who does that?

I do. And I’m not proud of it. I quit bacon. I love my life too much.