Stories tagged as "Funny"

A letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Posted by liquilife on 07/30 at 11:14 PM

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is , how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,

Jim

Posted by liquilife on 07/30 at 11:14 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: funny

Crazy Gtalk conversation

Posted by liquilife on 10/12 at 09:41 AM

I had an absolutely crazy Gtalk conversation this morning. In all my years of online chatting I’ve never had one quite like this.

*censored*@gmail.com: hey! you added me, but i have absolutely no idea who you are. help me out here, will ya? [wink]
me: Hmm, I was wondering who the heck you are as well! I have no idea who you are
*censored*@gmail.com: LOL
i got a request i was was like who now? i thought i vaguely recognised you addy…
me: I rarely use Google talk and can’t imagine why I would add anyone to be honest… haha. You just appeared one day in my slim gmail contact list
Hmm
you live in Spokane WA?
*censored*@gmail.com: i accepted you because my google talk isn’t widely knows so i assumed you were a clan mate or something to that affect
no, but anna and robbie do
me: video games…
This is Robbie
*censored*@gmail.com: duh
me: and my wife is anna
*censored*@gmail.com: well, it’s cherish. i have you on my f/l on xbl XD
me: Hahaha
Cherish!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*censored*@gmail.com: this has got to be the funniest convo i’ve ever had on google talk
me: That’s crazy. Now that I think about it I vaguely remember adding you…
*censored*@gmail.com: LOL
me: Too funny, I’m laughing over here
*censored*@gmail.com: me too!
me: If I ever had this conversation again I would only want to do it with you again [grin]
*censored*@gmail.com: totally! [grin]

Posted by liquilife on 10/12 at 09:41 AM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: funny, gmail

Smeagol and I

Posted by liquilife on 11/16 at 05:20 AM

This is what happens when my wife, who by the way is very handy with Photoshop, is annoyed with me.

Posted by liquilife on 11/16 at 05:20 AM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: image, liquilife, funny, smeagol

Changes over at UncleGamer.com

Posted by liquilife on 12/03 at 01:31 PM

Last night Anna took the time to redraw our UncleGamer logo/header. The first one we had was quickly outlived and even very simple. I present to you the new header for UncleGamer.com:

I now feel that UncleGamer has a bit of Pizazz that was never present before. The image is, however, a bit top heavy weighing in at 30kb.

Vicous696, my radio show partner, was complaining that he looks to “big” in the picture. So I thought I would propose this modified header and see what he thinks:

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Posted by liquilife on 12/03 at 01:31 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: image, funny, radio, logo

Family guy people and stuff

Posted by liquilife on 12/12 at 10:01 AM

I always wondered what the people behind the “Family Guy” voices looked like. I wonder no longer. Who would have known that Cleveland was voiced over by a white man? I’ve also learned that Quagmire and Peter are voiced by the same person. How about that for a little piece of Tuesday morning tidbit factoid!

Posted by liquilife on 12/12 at 10:01 AM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny, family guy

Seattle beats Dallas in amazing wild card victory!

Posted by liquilife on 01/06 at 10:59 PM

Seattle pulls off one of the most amazing victories I’ve seen. Being a huge Seahawks fan since a little child I tend to really get caught up every Sunday in the drama that is Seahawks football. If a normal Sunday is drama then you could only imagine what a wild finishing playoff game is. A heart attack. Yes. How is it I’ve grown so emotionally attached to a football team? Anyways, I could go on ad on about the game but I’ll let the video speak for it’s self on just how this wild game ended.

Posted by liquilife on 01/06 at 10:59 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny, seahawks, football, cowboys

Girls Gone Wild… err… Dumb

Posted by liquilife on 01/15 at 11:26 PM

The crew from Girls Gone Wild made an unfortunate appearance at CES in Las Vegas. We all know who and what “Girls Gone Wild” is, that is if you have ever flipped to the Comedy Central Network after 10pm at night.

These girls demonstrate their knowledge of the “Sony Ipod”, the thing from Nintendo that has a flip open top you touch with your finger, UBS ports and even the company they are representing which is D9 or D5, they are not exactly sure. I’ve attached the video for your laughing pleasure. Thanks to I4U.com for snagging this depressing yet funny video.

And hey, since we got Girls Gone Wild on the brain I might as well toss in a picture I stumbled across on Flickr. This is Major Nelson posing with a few of the blond Girls Gone Wild models. Major Nelson, what is up with that look on your face? Please don’t ever make that face again, it’s painful to see.

Oh well, I can only hope that a recent bill in Tennessee to fine cable company up to $50,000 for displaying the Girls Gone Wild infomercials will pass. I don’t live in Tennessee but perhaps this could catch on and we could rid ourselves of Girls Gone Wild.

Posted by liquilife on 01/15 at 11:26 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny, sexy, technology

Is Paula Abdul on crack or just drunk??

Posted by liquilife on 01/16 at 09:38 PM

What is up with Paula Abdul? The Paula that I know and love on American Idol has just died. While recently conducting an interview with a Seattle based news station during a morning show she appeared to be drunk. She is so out of place that I literally felt embarrassed for her. The video was actually difficult to watch as she made a complete fool of her self. At one point of time she slams the entire city of Seattle for having the worst singers ever participate in American Idol, another time she laughs uncontrollably while leaning left to right. Yeah, it’s bad. Watch the video and lose your appreciation for Paula Abdul with me!

If you want more Paula Abdul drunken interview goodness then head on over here for another great video.

Posted by liquilife on 01/16 at 09:38 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny, sexy, drunk, paula abdul

The Earth is Flat? Who would have guessed!

Posted by liquilife on 02/17 at 09:19 AM

The internet often allows the small people to get their voice heard or gather together for some pretty odd reasons. This would be the case with the “The Flat Earth Society”. The Flat Earth Society (from here on known as FES) is a group of people who believe what the name of their organization implies: The Earth is flat and NOT round. They believe that a giant ice wall surrounds us in a big disc preventing us from ever figuring out the truth. I know, you must think I’m on drugs at this point, but you’ll just have to go see for yourselves.

I’m not going to disprove this by talking about Amelia Earhart and her flight around the world, Space Shuttle images of the round earth or any HUGE number of evidence from the centuries of discoveries. Instead I want to bring to attention the explanation of FES just explaining how the earth is flat. Warning: This is very comical.

Posted by liquilife on 02/17 at 09:19 AM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: image, funny, theory

Up late with Family Guy - Video

Posted by liquilife on 03/05 at 06:30 PM

Family Guy released an Episode titled “Up Late with Stewie and Brian” which will only circulate on the Internet and will never be aired on TV. This episodes runs at about 10:00 minutes and is actually quite funny in a way only Family Guy could do. Stewie is the host of a late night television show very reminiscent of David Letterman and Brian is his sidekick. Also featured in this episode is the band consisting of Cleveland, Quagmire and other familiar Family Guy characters. I’ve attached the video, enjoy!

Posted by liquilife on 03/05 at 06:30 PM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny, family guy

This is so wrong but I’m posting it anyways

Posted by liquilife on 03/11 at 03:21 AM

This is so childish and wrong but it’s 4:20am and I’ve been up all night and I don’t really care. Create your own dancing character at http://www.roxik.com/pictaps

Posted by liquilife on 03/11 at 03:21 AM | 0 comments | Permalink
Tagged under: video, funny

You do not fuck with Turtles… you just do not

Posted by liquilife on 08/08 at 06:51 AM

I was thinking this morning about how awesome and bad ass turtles can be. This led to a bit of research in my laboratory on the super information highway. After some study, here are my results. Enjoy.